she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You've changed since you got that strap on
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
