Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When did angry sex become our thing?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
