Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
