put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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