I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
