Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
