yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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