the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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