so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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