Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
