no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
