Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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