A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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