even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I want is dick and wine.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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