at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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