it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
