Whats the glycemic index on semen?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
