Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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