It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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