He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
