Banned from zoo.
Again?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
