I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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