so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
