ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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