He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
