I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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