he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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