The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want to have your abortion
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
