don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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