I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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