omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
