PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
