Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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