I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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