My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
