Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
