NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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