We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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