what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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