Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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