she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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