i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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