babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
