i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
