Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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