I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
