i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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