dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
