Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
