Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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