maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this beer tastes like vomit already
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
